When most people talk about their wedding they tend to use the term ‘perfect’ or ‘best day of their lives’. But after three years of being married to Paul (Happy Anniversary to us!), I’ve realised that our wedding was a small part of our relationship and was by no means ‘perfect’. What makes the perfect wedding anyway?
MY WEDDING DAY
When I woke up 15th June 2013, I felt nothing but complete anxiety. I could barely eat or even think. I know these are quite normal feelings but I actually couldn’t wait for it to be over. This may come across as harsh but the wedding was something I wasn’t exactly looking forward to. What I was excited about was continuing my life with a man who I loved and who I would share a name with. Our marriage symbolised more than just, “What’s mine is your’s.” To me, it meant we were a family and were going to share some amazing experiences together.
Personally, I have never, ever dreamt of a big wedding. Spending thousands of pounds on something I would barely have the time to be able to enjoy seemed to me like a waste of money and energy. So we did it all ourselves, the way we wanted and that we thought family and friends would enjoy. We had a band playing the music we loved, catered lots of yummy food (none of which was eaten by myself other than some candy floss and popcorn) and had a glowing Eiffel Tower.
That to me was going to be it. I wanted to have a party. And that’s what our wedding reception was. I didn’t even want speeches or a first dance. Because in all honesty, I hate everyone watching me, staring at me and photographing me, which is why there are not many formal photos. As soon as the ceremony was out of the way I got rather drunk because it would make socialising with so many people easier (some of whom I haven’t seen since).
DON’T GET ME WRONG…
I had a fun time, it was wonderful and my face hurt from smiling so much. But sometimes I wonder if Paul and I would’ve had a better time eloping to Disney World and getting married there. It was my no means the typical definition of a ‘perfect wedding’.
I know there are some who see the perfect wedding being a huge money pot of six-course meals, table planning, speeches, tradition and frills. To plan all of that, or to even pay someone to plan all of that, feels like Hell. Trusting and worrying, contemplating what the guests would like, having a timetable… Hell.
BUT MY MARRIAGE?
Every day since getting married has been full of love. Paul and I have travelled to some wonderful places, met incredible people, made memories, been frustrated, angry, tearful. But we’ve also laughed to the point of crying and made big decisions. Our wedding day was such a small part of our relationship. It really doesn’t matter what your wedding is like, as long as you don’t base your relationship around it (especially if money is a factor, it won’t end well).
As long as you marry the person you love, the wedding will be perfect.
Wedding Photography: LoveStruck Photography