A little while back I wrote about about friendship and what I define as a good/bad friend. But how do you being cutting out negative influences? And how can you spot this in another person and in general life?
CUTTING OUT NEGATIVE INFLUENCES – PEOPLE
How do they make you feel?
- Makes you feel bad,
- Tries to control you emotionally or physically,
- Is constantly negative on and off social media,
- Has nothing nice to say about anyone,
- Ignores your feelings when you raise this issue,
- Makes you feel like you’re always in the wrong,
- Thinks they are always right,
- Contacts you only when they need something,
- Refuses to apologise in an argument,
- Lies to you or keeps secrets from you,
…then it’s safe to say they probably aren’t a positive influence and now would be a good time to cut them from your life. It sounds harsh but it needs to happen.
When you want to keep things as positive as possible you need to remove those who have a constant desire to complain, spread hate and pessimism. But before you take on the next steps, try to talk to that person and see if there is something wrong. They may open up to you and it could help them move from this attitude.
However, if you feel as if you can’t talk to the person there are some steps you should take for the sake of your mental wellbeing. These may sound a little OTT however if you are wanting to live a more positive lifestyle, this is how you do it (only if talking to them isn’t helping!) :
- Work out if the person is truly a negative influence or is it something else?
- Don’t feel the need to explain why you’re cutting them out of your life. If they didn’t listen when you tried to talk to them about it they won’t listen now.
- Stand your ground, don’t let yourself be manipulated into an unwanted friendship.
- Don’t argue about the situation. Be calm, honest and mature.
- Remove them (or mute) from all social media to avoid seeing pessimistic posts.
- Delete and block their phone number to avoid contact.
- Keep your distance by avoiding the same social situations.
CUTTING OUT NEGATIVE INFLUENCES – ACTIVITIES
You’d be surprised by the amount negativity that surrounds us in everyday life… The news, TV shows, the radio and social media are all things that can create a subconscious negative state of mind. Some things you can do to prevent it getting to you:
- Reduce the amount of news you watch or pay attention to – Watching constant sadness, terror and negativity on the news isn’t going to make you feel great about the state of the world is it? I’d recommend watching the news in the middle of the day as opposed to first thing in the morning or at the end of the day. This way you keep in touch with what’s going on in the world without it being shoved down your throat.
- Watch more comedy or light hearted TV – Let’s be honest… Soap operas are the most miserable thing on TV. If you must watch them, at least watch something a little cheerier before and after.
- Avoid looking at social media first thing in the morning – Whatever happened in the night could influence your mood throughout the rest of the day so wait a while before checking up on Facebook updates!
- Follow my tips on living a positive life!
Do what is best for you. Your future and wellbeing matter.