The short answer, no. I’m just happy and carefree. Not that I used to be…
Ever since January 2017, when things started to dramatically change for me (and in me), people assumed I was going off the rails a bit. Why?
Well, it may have been the fact that I started drinking again. It could also be the fact I had three tattoos done in the space of two months. Perhaps it’s because I’m getting my nose re-pierced after ten years. Maybe it was when I decided to eat anything and everything I felt like after trying veganism and attempting to be a gym bunny. Or it could be when I stopped caring about what people thought. When I decided that Instagram themes bored me and kept switching how I wanted my content to look. That I realised we all worry a little too much about bullshit.
And here I am, on my laptop at 11:20 am, on the sofa watching Star Wars, with unwashed hair and on my third cup of coffee. Happy as Larry. Whoever Larry is. My floor hasn’t been hoovered, there’s dog hair all over the place, dirty dishing in the dishwasher and I give zero fucks. But a breakdown?!
It’s not that I’m an unclean person. But some days I don’t care. I just couldn’t care less if I have greasy hair or dog hair stuck to my leggings. Which is far from the life I had when everything made me stressed. The floors had to be spotless, I had to shower daily, workout every morning, paranoid I wasn’t working hard enough and pissed off at how my Instagram theme wasn’t getting enough followers in for whatever it was followers do.
Realistically, it doesn’t matter in the slightest if I don’t do housework for one day. Or if I work from the couch. Or if I post a photo of my dogs instead of a Gucci handbag. But some people (well it may have been thought of by people who I know) think I am going a bit cuckoo because of how much I have “let go”.
However, just because someone has become happier and found peace with themselves it doesn’t mean something is wrong or something has changed them. It’s more likely that they have found ways to become happier and relax.